Chapter One: The First Mission
Please read this blog from the older entries to the most recent, or from the older archives to the most recent.
The alarm was going off at 7 in the morning, bright and early. Sunlight managed to peek through the window next to his bed, as he glared at it with discontentment. "Hell", he thought to himself, "Can't I take a day off today? I was nearly killed last night." The boy had been living by himself for quite some time now. After becoming separated, neither of his parents wanted custody of him. So to avoid being put in to a family home, he decided to begin living on his own. He hardly had any visitors over, so the place wasn't all that clean.
About three months before this morning, the boy began receiving newsletters on random days. The only strange thing was that these newsletters contained information about tragedies that had not yet occurred. At first he didn't know what to think of these newsletters, and even went as far to throw the first one away. The next day however the same story ran, but this time the tragedy had actually occurred. Ever since that day the boy continually keeps an eye out for the newsletters. Should he ever happen to receive one, he calls in sick to the convenience store where he normally works. He was just considering lying back down and going to bed, when he heard something fall off his kitchen table. He wasn't at all surprised to see a newsletter on the ground, with tomorrow's date.
---
"Let's see here...", said the boy.
Girl of 17 Commits Suicide Behind School Gym
"At approximately 11:30AM yesterday morning Jennifer Wheatley committed suicide on her school grounds of Pike County High School. Officials are still investigating the motives of Jennifer's actions, but have yet to release an official report."
"I suppose waking up early has its advantages", the boy said to himself. He quickly took a shower (which hurt rather badly because he was not fully healed from the night before), and headed out for Pike Co. High School. It was about a two hour drive to the school, where nothing at all seemed out of the ordinary. He ran to the school gym, where he planned to hang out until close to 11:30. Even though he'd been doing this for over three months, it still made his legs shake when he realized the life of another person was in his hands. He had decided on the car ride over that he would talk to the girl, and see what the situation was. He didn't want to apprehend her and hand her over to the school authorities, since that probably wouldn't solve very many of her problems. At 11:26 a girl was walking along the back part of the gym, and stopped just by the gym's exit door, and began bawling.
From what he could tell, she didn't appear to have anything on her that she could harm herself with. Then he thought maybe she had overdosed or something of the sort, and there would be nothing he could do to save her. Not wanting to let his imagination get the best of him, he decided he would continue to watch the girl from behind some bushes close to the gym. If there is nothing that he can do about her death, then it is sadly God's will. The boy could almost not stand remaining hidden for much longer. The desperation emanating from this poor child was almost too great for him to endure. With each consecutive sob, and with tear after tear after tear, his heart began to grow very heavy. "Could it be this is what it means, to be alive?", he asked himself silently. Before he could conjure up any additional meditative questions, however, he heard the shattering of glass, and instantly thought to himself, "I've blown my chance to save this girl."
The girl had only thrown a rock through one of the gym windows, and the sharp glass shards that it produced were now tantalizingly close to her feet. The girl began to cry more now, faster, harder, and if at all possible, sadder. She picked up one of the bigger pieces of glass that lay by her feet, and held it resolutely to her wrist. Realizing it was not to late, the boy jumped out from behind his nearby bush, and in what sounded like both a scream and a whisper, said "Please, Stop!". The girl looked up to see who was shouting at her (or was it a whisper?) and saw the boy standing two feet away from her. The boy had finally gotten a good look at this poor girl's face, and he could tell that she was definitely serious about killing herself.
"Hi", said the boy.
"Who are you? What do you want? Have you been watching me this whole time?", the girl asked through even more tears.
"I just want to talk with you, please", the boy reasoned with the girl. "I just want you to tell me what's happened to lead you to try and do something like this".
"You wouldn't understand even if I -tried- to explain!", the girl yelled at him. "No one can understand the kinds of pain that high school can cause, and how I wish I could just make it all stop!"
"You are going to make a lot of people sad if you do something like this", the boy said.
"Good! I want them all to be sad! I want them all to feel the same kind of pain that I've been going through for the past three weeks!", the girl yelled again.
"I know the kind of pain that you're going through", the boy said to her. "I've experienced it all too well, just as you have. But when I was in the same position as you, literally seconds away from taking my life, I reached out one final time. Not to my parents, friends, or a girlfriend, but to God".
The girl, who now appeared to be coming back down to Earth, suddenly realized how wrong it was of her to do something like this. She suddenly recalled happy memories with friends and family around the holidays, and on rainy days where she would sit inside and read a book in her favorite CozyChair. All of that would be gone if she did this. All that makes her alive would be gone if she were to do this. She began to cry again, even more furiously than before. Suddenly the boy was making a quick move toward her. Was he going to knock her unconscious? Would he slap the glass out of her hand? Was he going to tackle her and pin her to the ground until police came? "No", she thought to herself, "That would be too embarrassing. I can't let my family and friends see me in some psychiatric ward at some looney-hospital".
But the boy did not strike her, did not tackle her, and did not knock her unconscious.
He hugged her.
---
Within ten seconds of being a part of his embrace, the young girl's heart melted in to a puddle. She dropped the piece of glass, and threw her arms around him. He consolingly rubbed her back with one hand, while holding the back of her head with his other. She continued to weep, and buried her shameful face in to his chest. The boy didn't say a word, other than, "We should go somewhere before people come. You made quite a noise throwing that rock through the window". The girl nodded imperceptibly, and they both began to walk towards the bleachers on the football field. The girl didn't know what was going on, or what to think anymore. All she knew was that in this boy's arms she felt safe and protected. All that had gone wrong in her life these past three weeks seemed to drift away with one simple hug from a stranger.
Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep in the arms of the boy. He woke her up about thirty minutes later, figuring she could use some time to rest. It looked like she was incredibly weary, and hadn't slept in several days. When she woke up, she was startled by her position. It only took her three seconds to remember what had happened, but within those first three seconds she was wondering why she was under the bleachers with a strange boy she'd never seen before. "Did he knock me out?", she questioned to herself. "No, no, that's right, he hugged me...". Immediately the girl felt embarrassed, ashamed, and like she wanted to die all over again all at once. The boy spared her the task of getting enough courage to speak first, and began to talk.
"You know, when I was in high school, the thing I hated most was lunch time", said the boy. "It wasn't that I didn't like to eat, or didn't enjoy the food, but every new semester I had to find new people to sit with, and that was always the hardest thing for me to do in high school".
The girl didn't know why he was telling her any of this, but could think of nothing else to do other than keep listening.
"Sometimes, when there's so many people in one place, it feels like we're all alone", the boy continued. "It seems hard to jump in to something that big, and it gets really easy to lose all your courage. About two years ago, when I was still going to high school like you are now, I was sitting in the cafeteria's freezer room with a set of steak knives I stole from the utensil cabinet. I thought for sure I was all alone, and that no one was going to come rescue me. I was also sure that no one would really miss me, especially not my parents, so I figured it'd be best if I just stopped existing. The pain was all too real for me, and it was never-ceasing with no end in sight. High school is definitely one of the hardest things a kid has to go through in life." He blushed slightly, then turned to the girl. "You're a very cute girl, and although I've only seen tears come out of your eyes, I'm sure that your face has a beautiful smile hidden beneath it." Now it was the girl's turn to blush.
"I don't know who you are", the girl began, "But I want to say thank-you for stopping me back there. It was like, as soon you hugged me, everything was okay, and, well...", she paused for several seconds. "A lot of what you said, makes it seem to me, like you really do know a lot about what I'm going through. And, I know you're trying to help me, but, I also know you're only one of few who has tried to help me. I just get so depressed when I feel like no one out there wants to just hold me like you did, and tell me that it is going to be okay. All my girl friends can do is cry along with me, and none of my guy friends, not like I have many, are mature enough to not become attached if I run to them. I want to say I'm sorry for back there, and...", but she never managed to say whatever was on her mind.
Jennifer and the boy continued to talk about high school, and how to overcome the various challenges it presents. The girl began to cry again, but the boy simply held her close, and comforted her as best he knew how. "There, there", he would say, "It's all going to be all-right". The girl wanted to tell this boy that he was the best person on the planet, but before she could manage to work up the courage, she was asleep again. By the time she woke up the boy was gone, but he had left his jacket for her to lay on while she was sleeping. In the jacket pocket was a phone number, and scribbled underneath in the boy's handwriting was, "call me anytime".
---
Later that night Jennifer went on to write in her Diary:
---
The boy was driving back home, satisfied with the help he had given Jennifer that day. He really hoped that things would start to get better for her, although he knew that he'd be playing a key role in that department. He arrived home at about 6PM, but was too tired to make anything to eat, so he just ate a bowl of cereal and then laid on his couch to rest. He thought back to when he hugged Jennifer, and how right it felt to be helping someone like her. Yet somewhere deep down, he wondered if maybe his heart wasn't yearning for something deeper. Before he could ponder this question much longer, however, his cell phone began to beep. It was a text message.
From: Jennifer
"THANK YOU!!"
Jennifer was just getting ready for bed after brushing her teeth, when suddenly her cell phone started to play her favorite band's new hit single (it was her favorite new ringtone).
From: You-Know-Who
"GOD BLESS!"
"Yes", she thought to herself, "He certainly did bless me today".
The alarm was going off at 7 in the morning, bright and early. Sunlight managed to peek through the window next to his bed, as he glared at it with discontentment. "Hell", he thought to himself, "Can't I take a day off today? I was nearly killed last night." The boy had been living by himself for quite some time now. After becoming separated, neither of his parents wanted custody of him. So to avoid being put in to a family home, he decided to begin living on his own. He hardly had any visitors over, so the place wasn't all that clean.
About three months before this morning, the boy began receiving newsletters on random days. The only strange thing was that these newsletters contained information about tragedies that had not yet occurred. At first he didn't know what to think of these newsletters, and even went as far to throw the first one away. The next day however the same story ran, but this time the tragedy had actually occurred. Ever since that day the boy continually keeps an eye out for the newsletters. Should he ever happen to receive one, he calls in sick to the convenience store where he normally works. He was just considering lying back down and going to bed, when he heard something fall off his kitchen table. He wasn't at all surprised to see a newsletter on the ground, with tomorrow's date.
---
"Let's see here...", said the boy.
Girl of 17 Commits Suicide Behind School Gym
"At approximately 11:30AM yesterday morning Jennifer Wheatley committed suicide on her school grounds of Pike County High School. Officials are still investigating the motives of Jennifer's actions, but have yet to release an official report."
"I suppose waking up early has its advantages", the boy said to himself. He quickly took a shower (which hurt rather badly because he was not fully healed from the night before), and headed out for Pike Co. High School. It was about a two hour drive to the school, where nothing at all seemed out of the ordinary. He ran to the school gym, where he planned to hang out until close to 11:30. Even though he'd been doing this for over three months, it still made his legs shake when he realized the life of another person was in his hands. He had decided on the car ride over that he would talk to the girl, and see what the situation was. He didn't want to apprehend her and hand her over to the school authorities, since that probably wouldn't solve very many of her problems. At 11:26 a girl was walking along the back part of the gym, and stopped just by the gym's exit door, and began bawling.
From what he could tell, she didn't appear to have anything on her that she could harm herself with. Then he thought maybe she had overdosed or something of the sort, and there would be nothing he could do to save her. Not wanting to let his imagination get the best of him, he decided he would continue to watch the girl from behind some bushes close to the gym. If there is nothing that he can do about her death, then it is sadly God's will. The boy could almost not stand remaining hidden for much longer. The desperation emanating from this poor child was almost too great for him to endure. With each consecutive sob, and with tear after tear after tear, his heart began to grow very heavy. "Could it be this is what it means, to be alive?", he asked himself silently. Before he could conjure up any additional meditative questions, however, he heard the shattering of glass, and instantly thought to himself, "I've blown my chance to save this girl."
The girl had only thrown a rock through one of the gym windows, and the sharp glass shards that it produced were now tantalizingly close to her feet. The girl began to cry more now, faster, harder, and if at all possible, sadder. She picked up one of the bigger pieces of glass that lay by her feet, and held it resolutely to her wrist. Realizing it was not to late, the boy jumped out from behind his nearby bush, and in what sounded like both a scream and a whisper, said "Please, Stop!". The girl looked up to see who was shouting at her (or was it a whisper?) and saw the boy standing two feet away from her. The boy had finally gotten a good look at this poor girl's face, and he could tell that she was definitely serious about killing herself.
"Hi", said the boy.
"Who are you? What do you want? Have you been watching me this whole time?", the girl asked through even more tears.
"I just want to talk with you, please", the boy reasoned with the girl. "I just want you to tell me what's happened to lead you to try and do something like this".
"You wouldn't understand even if I -tried- to explain!", the girl yelled at him. "No one can understand the kinds of pain that high school can cause, and how I wish I could just make it all stop!"
"You are going to make a lot of people sad if you do something like this", the boy said.
"Good! I want them all to be sad! I want them all to feel the same kind of pain that I've been going through for the past three weeks!", the girl yelled again.
"I know the kind of pain that you're going through", the boy said to her. "I've experienced it all too well, just as you have. But when I was in the same position as you, literally seconds away from taking my life, I reached out one final time. Not to my parents, friends, or a girlfriend, but to God".
The girl, who now appeared to be coming back down to Earth, suddenly realized how wrong it was of her to do something like this. She suddenly recalled happy memories with friends and family around the holidays, and on rainy days where she would sit inside and read a book in her favorite CozyChair. All of that would be gone if she did this. All that makes her alive would be gone if she were to do this. She began to cry again, even more furiously than before. Suddenly the boy was making a quick move toward her. Was he going to knock her unconscious? Would he slap the glass out of her hand? Was he going to tackle her and pin her to the ground until police came? "No", she thought to herself, "That would be too embarrassing. I can't let my family and friends see me in some psychiatric ward at some looney-hospital".
But the boy did not strike her, did not tackle her, and did not knock her unconscious.
He hugged her.
---
Within ten seconds of being a part of his embrace, the young girl's heart melted in to a puddle. She dropped the piece of glass, and threw her arms around him. He consolingly rubbed her back with one hand, while holding the back of her head with his other. She continued to weep, and buried her shameful face in to his chest. The boy didn't say a word, other than, "We should go somewhere before people come. You made quite a noise throwing that rock through the window". The girl nodded imperceptibly, and they both began to walk towards the bleachers on the football field. The girl didn't know what was going on, or what to think anymore. All she knew was that in this boy's arms she felt safe and protected. All that had gone wrong in her life these past three weeks seemed to drift away with one simple hug from a stranger.
Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep in the arms of the boy. He woke her up about thirty minutes later, figuring she could use some time to rest. It looked like she was incredibly weary, and hadn't slept in several days. When she woke up, she was startled by her position. It only took her three seconds to remember what had happened, but within those first three seconds she was wondering why she was under the bleachers with a strange boy she'd never seen before. "Did he knock me out?", she questioned to herself. "No, no, that's right, he hugged me...". Immediately the girl felt embarrassed, ashamed, and like she wanted to die all over again all at once. The boy spared her the task of getting enough courage to speak first, and began to talk.
"You know, when I was in high school, the thing I hated most was lunch time", said the boy. "It wasn't that I didn't like to eat, or didn't enjoy the food, but every new semester I had to find new people to sit with, and that was always the hardest thing for me to do in high school".
The girl didn't know why he was telling her any of this, but could think of nothing else to do other than keep listening.
"Sometimes, when there's so many people in one place, it feels like we're all alone", the boy continued. "It seems hard to jump in to something that big, and it gets really easy to lose all your courage. About two years ago, when I was still going to high school like you are now, I was sitting in the cafeteria's freezer room with a set of steak knives I stole from the utensil cabinet. I thought for sure I was all alone, and that no one was going to come rescue me. I was also sure that no one would really miss me, especially not my parents, so I figured it'd be best if I just stopped existing. The pain was all too real for me, and it was never-ceasing with no end in sight. High school is definitely one of the hardest things a kid has to go through in life." He blushed slightly, then turned to the girl. "You're a very cute girl, and although I've only seen tears come out of your eyes, I'm sure that your face has a beautiful smile hidden beneath it." Now it was the girl's turn to blush.
"I don't know who you are", the girl began, "But I want to say thank-you for stopping me back there. It was like, as soon you hugged me, everything was okay, and, well...", she paused for several seconds. "A lot of what you said, makes it seem to me, like you really do know a lot about what I'm going through. And, I know you're trying to help me, but, I also know you're only one of few who has tried to help me. I just get so depressed when I feel like no one out there wants to just hold me like you did, and tell me that it is going to be okay. All my girl friends can do is cry along with me, and none of my guy friends, not like I have many, are mature enough to not become attached if I run to them. I want to say I'm sorry for back there, and...", but she never managed to say whatever was on her mind.
Jennifer and the boy continued to talk about high school, and how to overcome the various challenges it presents. The girl began to cry again, but the boy simply held her close, and comforted her as best he knew how. "There, there", he would say, "It's all going to be all-right". The girl wanted to tell this boy that he was the best person on the planet, but before she could manage to work up the courage, she was asleep again. By the time she woke up the boy was gone, but he had left his jacket for her to lay on while she was sleeping. In the jacket pocket was a phone number, and scribbled underneath in the boy's handwriting was, "call me anytime".
---
Later that night Jennifer went on to write in her Diary:
Dear Diary,
You won't believe what stupid mistake I almost made today! Gosh, I can barely manage to write it out, it seems too scary. I was behind the gym today Diary, and I was planning on doing something really bad to myself. Deep down I didn't really want to Diary, because there's a lot of people that I love. But I was just so sad Diary, and I just wanted it to end, I wanted it to all go away forever. But guess what! This boy was hiding in the bushes watching me, and he jumped out and asked me not to go through with it. It took some convincing (and in the end a hug!) but eventually he led me to the bleachers, where I fell asleep (twice!). The boy wasn't there when I woke up, which made me kind of sad (he was cute after all!) -BUT- he did leave his jacket for me to sleep on (with his phone number inside!). I'm way too nervous to call him right now, but I did send him a text message. I hope he gets it! Well, that's about it for today, Diary. I'm soo glad I didn't go through with hurting myself - something bad could've happened! I'm going to do something tonight that I haven't done in a while, Diary. I'm going to pray to God and thank him for sending an angel to protect me!
---
The boy was driving back home, satisfied with the help he had given Jennifer that day. He really hoped that things would start to get better for her, although he knew that he'd be playing a key role in that department. He arrived home at about 6PM, but was too tired to make anything to eat, so he just ate a bowl of cereal and then laid on his couch to rest. He thought back to when he hugged Jennifer, and how right it felt to be helping someone like her. Yet somewhere deep down, he wondered if maybe his heart wasn't yearning for something deeper. Before he could ponder this question much longer, however, his cell phone began to beep. It was a text message.
From: Jennifer
"THANK YOU!!"
Jennifer was just getting ready for bed after brushing her teeth, when suddenly her cell phone started to play her favorite band's new hit single (it was her favorite new ringtone).
From: You-Know-Who
"GOD BLESS!"
"Yes", she thought to herself, "He certainly did bless me today".
posted by Stephen @ 1:07 PM
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